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"One time I went to a movie with this guy and about 30 minutes into it, I told him I would be offended if he didn't let me take him back to the car and suck his dick," said 52-year-old wife, mother and grandmother Halcyon Gold. "I did, and when I was done, I climbed on top of his lap and rode him really good!" You have to love a woman who's actually offended when she doesn't get to suck your dick and fuck you, especially when that woman is married. But Halcyon, who's from a small town in North Carolina, is not your average woman. Not at all. "I wouldn't really classify myself as a swinger, however, me and my partner have always been open about our wants and needs," she said. "There may have been a time or two where a friend may have come over and we were drinking some wine and I pulled her pants down and started eating her out." So, yeah, she's into cock and pussy. "I masturbate pretty often. I have such a huge variety of toys that I haven't even tried them all out yet. But when I'm home alone and the mood hits, I definitely take care of myself." She takes care of herself in these photos. She has a multipurpose toy that fucks her pussy and rubs her clit simultaneously. Meanwhile, her nice tits are out and her nipples are rock-hard. What sexually satisfies her best: "I would have to say being fingered while getting my clit rubbed." And her pink toy does just that!

Plot? You want plot? Sorry. There's no plot in this scene, unless you count a hot, 54-year-old blonde getting off as a plot. She talks dirty, too, and gets on all fours to finger her pussy while her asshole puckers at you. By the way, she's very flexible, too. Anyway, the 54-year-old blonde is Dani Dare, a wife and mom with big tits and a hot body. She's a good one. OldHornyMILFs: What's the best compliment you've ever received? Dani: When I had a hot 37-year-old boyfriend and nobody ever questioned our relationship. No dirty looks from haters. The worst compliment by far was, "You are definitely the hottest of the old people," and that was from the same 37-year-old guy! OldHornyMILFs: You're at a party and you notice a guy checking you out across the room. You find him attractive. What happens next? Dani: Normally I wait until I see him reacting to a song or something on TV and try and make a funny comment to break the ice. OldHornyMILFs: What should a man do if he wants to meet you? Dani: Leave the testosterone at home. I'm not a big fan of players or possessive/aggressive guys. I am Canadian, after all, eh? Just be yourself.

Halcyon Gold is not your average woman. After all, the average woman doesn't come to OldHornyMILFs.com and wear an ultra-short skirt and a little top that her tits are pouring out of. The average woman does not have pierced nipples. And the average woman does not lick her nips for all the world to see then spread her legs wide and get off for your viewing and jacking pleasure. Later this week, she's going to suck and fuck (and show off her outstanding blow job skills). But when we asked Halcyon whether the people she knows would be surprised to see her here, she said, "Oh, god, yes! I'm really laid back and keep to myself pretty often. I think they would be very shocked, but I'm sure some of them would be very eager to see what it would be like to fuck me." FYI, Halcyon is 52 years old and lives in North Carolina with her husband, who definitely would not be surprised to see her here. She's a mother and grandmother. She works in health care (and has all her life). "So what you'll be seeing here is an overworked health care worker getting a deserved break and getting it the proper way!" Favorite TV show: American Horror Story. Dream car: A Dodge Challenger. Perfect evening: "Going out to a Mexican restaurant and then home to watch a move with a little bit of cuddling and some heavy-petting." And she said, "I'm really into funny men. If you can make me laugh, you'll most likely get my pussy wet."

Let's welcome Amy Love, a 57-year-old MILF from Prague, Czech Republic. A surprising amount of time has passed since we've had a Czech woman at OldHornyMILFs.com. Surprising because the Czech Republic has long been a hotbed for porn stars young and mature. Amy is a blonde fuck toy with big tits and a tight body. With her long fingernails (the better for running them over the shaft of your cock and underneath your balls, she says) and those tits, she reminds us of a younger Elizabeth Starr when she first broke out in the late 1990s. Here, Amy introduces herself by giving us a tour of her body. And Thursday, she's going to fuck. First, Amy does a slow, sensual strip out of her frilly white top and frilly skirt. Her big, fake tits are bulging out of her blue bra. She turns around and shows us her ass, which is very nice, too, climbs onto her bed and touches herself, then she gets on all fours and pushes her ass into the camera. We get closeups of her boobs and booty, which are very nice. She pinches her nipples, the camera zooming in, then pulls her panties aside to give us our first look at her pussy. When she takes off those panties all the way, we get to see her bare pussy and her asshole. Softly moaning, Amy takes out a toy and demonstrates her blow job skills. Or maybe she's not demonstrating. Maybe she likes making believe she's giving a real blow job. Then she fucks her pussy with the dildo, and again, two things are very apparent: 1. The way it's gripping that toy, Amy's pussy must still be very tight. 2. Her asshole, puckering but not really opening up, is also very tight. Elizabeth Starr also had a very tight, puckered asshole, so maybe we've discovered her long-lost half-sister halfway around the world. Ya never know.